here’s a demo of a song I wrote quite a while back. I was never really comfortable with it because I never really felt like it concluded. shouldn’t every story have an ending before it’s told?
recently I was talking with a good friend of mine about the relationship we each had with our fathers growing up. I came to find out that he had never really met his dad. not because he left, but he died of cancer when this friend of mine was only 5 months old. your heart really has to break for someone like that. I mean, there are just some things in life that will never fully heal. it doesn’t mean they don’t get better, but the pain of remembering will always be there as long as you choose to remember, and if you try to forget, you will inevitably experience the pain of severing off an emotional piece of yourself.
so I opened up about how my father committed suicide when I was 17, and how I never really was sure about how that worked into my testimony. again, shouldn’t every story come to a conclusion before it’s told? I was surprised at how my friend responded. he said, “I think the beauty of your testimony is that you are still going through it.” that struck me as odd, because I had always assumed that a good story was measured by its ending. But the beauty of story is not in the ending, but in the hope of a redeeming one.
so this song became heavy on my heart. I recorded a demo of it and figured it was time to share. it’s not neat, pretty, or perfectly in tune. but neither am I, and I never want to claim otherwise. I hope this song helps some of you the way it helped me give up on the illusion of control, and trust that he really does have it taken care of.
